Its been a while kids...

So what has Jeff been doing since he requested more booze...

He has had more booze since, so all my adoring fas can stop worrying that i have sobered up...

I had a week off work, i bought a new stereo, a new X-Box, and i got a new hairstyle... I also stayed up two nights in a row on dexies and played X-Box with Al (and many other people), untill i couldnt possibly stay up any longer...

its pablos birthday today, and as a present, i got myself a date for friday night and she hot, and nice and all that stuff people would say even if the chick was a fat bitch (but she's not)... The Maxine chick (one of the new hotties on L22) is just a good perve and good to flirt with, but flirting is good right?

I really dont have much to say except i decided to update coz its been ages...

So adieu to you, and you, and you, and you... (lalalalalala lalalalala la----)

WANTED: MORE BOOZE

Well well well, what a fucking weekend... Now that my memory has ben masterfully restored by the various people i was with i can relate to you, my adoring fans.

It all starts at friday around 7.30 as i attend a work party... I proceed to drink them out of double vodka (Smirnoff Black). I did Karaoke, which got the whole bar jumping, and had chicks trying to pull my pants down on stage... wonderful! Apparantly i dropped an E and i cant remember buch of the night from around 11.00 onwards... But apparantly i got refused entry to Scruffys, and kickedo ut of Cheers for falling off my chair... Then i left my bag at the work party and ended up waking up not having a clue where the fuck i was or how the fuck i got there... luckily for me it was Adams place so i was safe... phew.

Saturday i was in a bad mood... with no sign of my bag and all my money gone into the booze again... Then i got a magical SMS telling me one of my work buddies had picked up my bag and had it with him... also i found out that my tax return had come through so i was happy has larry, or sould i say hapy as Jeff... Coz i was pretty happy.

So i lent everyone some money and proceeded to go to panthers and got absolutely hammered again... At panthers i drank lots of vodka and tequila and got kicked out for smashing a glass with my foot on purpose. I drank more vodka at home with Austin and woke up not hungover and still drunk on sunday morning... not being hungover i decided i needed to celebrate... so i drank more vodka...

So now its monday and i'm feeling great!!! My throat is a little sore and my stomach feels like shit, but the elusive hangover from saturday and yesterday never hit me...

Anyways I'm gonna try and get some work done today and put up with comments from all my workmates on my trashedness... adios muchachos

ANOTHER WEEKEND UPDATE BROUGHT TO YOU BY TRASHEDNESS!

Well well well, where do i start... i guess friday is always a good option... to celebrate my first weekend off chems and weed, i decided to buy a bottle of cheap vodka and get hammered... joining me in my endeavours were:

• Stephen Austin with a bottle of scotch
• Allan Fryer and a case of beer
• Sean Richards with a bottle of Southern Comfort...

Well we proceeded to get quite drunk and Richards was the first one out. The real party started when Allan broke the corner of his sign (slippery when wet, courtesy of coles penrith), this prompted me to grab the sign and smash it over my sink (not breaking any of the dishes piled around it mind you). The night then went uphill (or downhill depending on who you are) we smashed many things in and around our house... including Pablos bar fridge... (speaking of Pabs stay tuned untill the end of the post for a special dedicated to the lazy dirty filthy stupid mexican)... When we woke the neighbours up we decided to take our loud destruction to the streets... A few lights, some 'FOR SALE' signs, a tree, and many letterboxes later (and we also spotted a gaurd sheep gaurding the driveway of a house down the road, and i also walked into a pole trying to get allan to keep quiet) we returned home less the mallet we set out with (it broke)... I proceeded to go to bed as i was really tired... Allan and Austin however proceeded to gather all the mess from our destruction in the house and built a bonfire in the broken firdge... then they decided to add two matresses and some cans of deoderant and some fish-oil... apparantly there was alot of fire... I could hear the occasional bang and crash followed by howls of laughter from my bed...

So i wake up saturday and we clean up despite mega huge hangovers... I spend the day just lazing around the house... We then went the the Bowling Club to celebrate Megs and Kennan leaving to queensland... At the bowling club i proceeded to down many many tequila shots (at $3 each i would've been nuts to not go for it)... When i inally got home i returned to my smashing weekend (pun intended) by taking out my own Stereo and also a window in the house... So now i have alot of damages i need to pay for... oh well ihad alot if fun...

PABLO IS FUCKED

Ladies and Gentlemen, exclusive to Jeffs Crappy Page of Crap, here is a dedicated tribute to the crappiness of our least favorite mexican bag of crap... Pablo Alvardo Murdoch! Firstly Pabs, you do not do anything around the house, and when you do you do it so badly it needs re-done... the only thing you do is pick up rubbish every so often... but then you just leave it in the kitchen for someone else to put out... When you vaccuum the house it always needs re-done coz you do it so damn poorly... and the very few times you actually do the dishes without running off to melbourne to avoid it they are rarely actually clean afterwards... I'm not going to sit here and brag about what i do in the house coz i'm not like that... what i will let you know is, I wasnt actually going to get into your room untill you decided that locking it up was a good idea... So we got in... and you know what... we're going to lock it all back up again so you can get in youself... Why? Coz your a dumb fucking, smelly little mexicunt who was stupid enough to lock himself out of his own bedroom! That and at the moment (actually probably since i moved in with you), your not exactly my favourite person. In fact i could probably count the times i have enjoyed your company in the last couple of month on one hand...

You will never win Pablo... If its war you want, its war you'll get.

Oh and before you try and get me to pay damages... i personally have not wrecked anything of yours or damaged anything in your room... yet...

FUCK ME DEAD!!!

Ok so its tuesday and i feel like absolute shit... i have a ounding headache, i'm a little feverish, my throat feels like someone has hammered some 10 inch nails into it... to top it off i'm at work and i have no more paid sickies left...

So what happened to make jeff like this? Heres the timeline...

Thursday Night - Played aquagolf with Clancy, Pabs and Austin... Had a line of speed (had to test the stuff for sunday... it was blue), a few tokes of a joint or two, and a couple of beers.

Friday - Woke up feeling a little addled due to minor intake of substances... Went to work and had a pretty normal Firday. After work i bought a packet of ciggies and went to a party for some dude in Austins Department... During the night i had 2 lines, a few tokes of a joint and about 10 bouble vodkas... Austin and I got to Kingswood at around 3 and Clancy came and picked us up coz i lent her my car for the day. We got back to find everyone up and gassing so i had another line a few cones then another line and we went and had a session watching the sun rise...

Saturday - Went to bed at 7 and woke up before 9... spent the day in a blissful state of scatterdom... listened to 'Doing Time' by sublime many times as i felt it reflected my mood that day... saturday night Me and Allan got pissed with sophi, Benji and Fatty came over two... had a couple more lines then a cone and proceeded to pass out at around 5 am...

Sunday - Heres where the trouble starts...
Sophi wakes me at 8 am coz its sunny and she felt i needed to be outdoors... i get up and spend the day in a terrible mood (lack of sleep, double comedown, hangover etc)... As i had already bought the tix to Sounds i felt i had to go, on the way out i had to buy another half-weight as i had already just about finished the stuff i got for sounds originally... i got richards and Clancy and off we went!

Got to sounds feeling terrible... during the night i finished my speed and went halves in a pill with Clancy... We got back to mine around 1 and i went to bed straight away... i was in the lounge room again at 2... i couldnt sleep... at this point i was stressing coz i had to be up for qork at 7.30... so i sit up and bounce and comedown and finally at 4 i go to bed and succesfully sleep...

Monday - My alarm wakes me up as usual at 7.20... i get out of bed feeling like absolute shit and have a shower... i get out of th shower and realise that i cant speak... my voice is gone and my throat is searing with pain... oh oh... 2 half-wieghts, 5 packs of ciggis, hours and hours of nonsensical talking, have taken a toll on my voice box... It was after i had a shower and got ready for work that i finally came to the realisation that in all reality i wasnt going to work... i was screwed (poor Clancy had to go coz she doesnt have sick days)... so i used my last sick day4 months before they reset themselves...

So come tuesday i'm still sick but had no choice but to come to work or lose out on $140 + dollars... seeing as i spent way too much on the weekend (my weekend budget was outdone 10 fold) i felt i cant afford to lose any more money due to the weekend.... so here i am sick, angry, and vowing to never again in my life binge on chemical drugs like that... in fact i am now on a two and a half month break from going hard on anything at all... fuck i feel like shit... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!

Jeffs version of events

PLEASE NOTE, THIS VERSION IS JEFFS VERSION SO MY REALITY MAY VARY FROM YOURS OR ANYONE ELSES.

Dont fret as this should be a fairly short post as my memory from saturday is short but interesting... It starts with me having to decide if i wanted to Drink the beer from the Keg, the vodka and lemonades in the fridge or the punch in the esky... so not being able to make a choice (and in true Jeff stupidity style) i decided i would have two drinks on me at any one time... So for the first couple of hours i had Either a Vodka and beer, a beer and punch, or a punch and vodka in either of my hands... So as you could imagine i was quite 'lop-soy' after a couple of hours...

So feeling like i was about to pass out and miss the party before it even starts properly, i decided that i would take Allan up for his offer for a line (whether i asked him or he asked me i'm not sure but somewhere there was a line up for grabs).... that was the first of god knows how many lines i had during the night...

Fast forward a couple of drunk charging hours later.... i decided i needed a pill... i did... i was fucked for hours after that one... even when the keg ran dry i still managed to find a way to keep me drunk...

Anyways the rest of the night was a huge blur... so i'm not sure if i can correctly relate these events... once again i ask anyone who has information relating to saturday night, to please forward these to me as once again i need to construct my memory...

PARTY FEVER

So the time has come again where, after weeks of boring nothingness, someone has decided to throw a party. Now this isnt just one of those partied where you invite everyone you know... oh no... this is a party where you invite everyone fullstop. Who cares if we dont know them... it'll make it look like we know lots of people... So if anyone happens to read this (i doubt that severely) and lives in the Penrith Area, come to 39 Jones St Kingswood (5 min walk from Kingswood Station) tomorrow and party like theres no tomorrow (coz if you party hard enough there may be no tomorrow for you... but hey we wont be held respnsible for that)! So come one come all to the greatest bash ever held in the Greater Jones St Area... and stay tuned... Coz on monday all of those who failed to partake (or passed out early) will be able to read the events (as remembered by me so the accounts may be slightly skewed) on this very site, thats right kids! Right here on Jeffs Crappy Place of Crap there will be an exlcusive Jeff's Version of Events! So stayed tuned... Untill then kids... Party Hard!

NEWSFLASH!!!

A combination of alcohol, speed, and weed does NOT make you invicible... I repeat a drug coctail will not make you invicible! Despite what everyone says, you can be hurt when fucked off your nut. You can NOT walk up slippery vert ramps without slipping and smashing your head on the ramp and thus causing major neck pains, and a dull headached and a sore arm and knee... '

This is what happened. I was drunk and stoned and speeding and we were at Manly skatepark. Mel and Kovacs were skating on the half pipe, while i stood there looking stupid and drunk. I look to the top of the ramp and see Richards and Al standing there and i figure i should join them. But instead of getting off the ramp and going up the step around the back, i decide that i was fucked up enough to be able to defy the laws of gravity and slipperyness and walk up a vert ramp... i made it about 3 or 4 steps up then...

SMACK

My head became better acquainted with the ramp and the whole right side of my body smashed to the ground a split second after my head hit the ramp... Now my neck hurts i have a headache and my arm and knee hurt... not to mention i think the sickness which has been plagueing my friends has finally caught up with me... and to top it all off, its 8.23 on sunday morning and guess where i am... BED? No, how could i be writing this from bed. Sill drinking and/or psrtying from last night? Party? Last night? All i did was sleep. We give up Jeff, where are you right now? Fucking work... working when i should be asleep, i could be scattered, i could be hung over.... but no i'm at a cubicle (not my big cubicle eaither just a little shitty one) with some form of mild concusion, a sore neck i cant move, and some wierd sickness that everyone else has had...

Fucking yeah!!!

This is fucked i'm going to sleep!