Jeffs Crappy page of Crap

2004-09-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

Its been a while kids...

So what has Jeff been doing since he requested more booze...

He has had more booze since, so all my adoring fas can stop worrying that i have sobered up...

I had a week off work, i bought a new stereo, a new X-Box, and i got a new hairstyle... I also stayed up two nights in a row on dexies and played X-Box with Al (and many other people), untill i couldnt possibly stay up any longer...

its pablos birthday today, and as a present, i got myself a date for friday night and she hot, and nice and all that stuff people would say even if the chick was a fat bitch (but she's not)... The Maxine chick (one of the new hotties on L22) is just a good perve and good to flirt with, but flirting is good right?

I really dont have much to say except i decided to update coz its been ages...

So adieu to you, and you, and you, and you... (lalalalalala lalalalala la----)

2004-09-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

WANTED: MORE BOOZE

Well well well, what a fucking weekend... Now that my memory has ben masterfully restored by the various people i was with i can relate to you, my adoring fans.

It all starts at friday around 7.30 as i attend a work party... I proceed to drink them out of double vodka (Smirnoff Black). I did Karaoke, which got the whole bar jumping, and had chicks trying to pull my pants down on stage... wonderful! Apparantly i dropped an E and i cant remember buch of the night from around 11.00 onwards... But apparantly i got refused entry to Scruffys, and kickedo ut of Cheers for falling off my chair... Then i left my bag at the work party and ended up waking up not having a clue where the fuck i was or how the fuck i got there... luckily for me it was Adams place so i was safe... phew.

Saturday i was in a bad mood... with no sign of my bag and all my money gone into the booze again... Then i got a magical SMS telling me one of my work buddies had picked up my bag and had it with him... also i found out that my tax return had come through so i was happy has larry, or sould i say hapy as Jeff... Coz i was pretty happy.

So i lent everyone some money and proceeded to go to panthers and got absolutely hammered again... At panthers i drank lots of vodka and tequila and got kicked out for smashing a glass with my foot on purpose. I drank more vodka at home with Austin and woke up not hungover and still drunk on sunday morning... not being hungover i decided i needed to celebrate... so i drank more vodka...

So now its monday and i'm feeling great!!! My throat is a little sore and my stomach feels like shit, but the elusive hangover from saturday and yesterday never hit me...

Anyways I'm gonna try and get some work done today and put up with comments from all my workmates on my trashedness... adios muchachos

2004-08-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER WEEKEND UPDATE BROUGHT TO YOU BY TRASHEDNESS!

Well well well, where do i start... i guess friday is always a good option... to celebrate my first weekend off chems and weed, i decided to buy a bottle of cheap vodka and get hammered... joining me in my endeavours were:

Stephen Austin with a bottle of scotch
Allan Fryer and a case of beer
Sean Richards with a bottle of Southern Comfort...

Well we proceeded to get quite drunk and Richards was the first one out. The real party started when Allan broke the corner of his sign (slippery when wet, courtesy of coles penrith), this prompted me to grab the sign and smash it over my sink (not breaking any of the dishes piled around it mind you). The night then went uphill (or downhill depending on who you are) we smashed many things in and around our house... including Pablos bar fridge... (speaking of Pabs stay tuned untill the end of the post for a special dedicated to the lazy dirty filthy stupid mexican)... When we woke the neighbours up we decided to take our loud destruction to the streets... A few lights, some 'FOR SALE' signs, a tree, and many letterboxes later (and we also spotted a gaurd sheep gaurding the driveway of a house down the road, and i also walked into a pole trying to get allan to keep quiet) we returned home less the mallet we set out with (it broke)... I proceeded to go to bed as i was really tired... Allan and Austin however proceeded to gather all the mess from our destruction in the house and built a bonfire in the broken firdge... then they decided to add two matresses and some cans of deoderant and some fish-oil... apparantly there was alot of fire... I could hear the occasional bang and crash followed by howls of laughter from my bed...

So i wake up saturday and we clean up despite mega huge hangovers... I spend the day just lazing around the house... We then went the the Bowling Club to celebrate Megs and Kennan leaving to queensland... At the bowling club i proceeded to down many many tequila shots (at $3 each i would've been nuts to not go for it)... When i inally got home i returned to my smashing weekend (pun intended) by taking out my own Stereo and also a window in the house... So now i have alot of damages i need to pay for... oh well ihad alot if fun...

PABLO IS FUCKED

Ladies and Gentlemen, exclusive to Jeffs Crappy Page of Crap, here is a dedicated tribute to the crappiness of our least favorite mexican bag of crap... Pablo Alvardo Murdoch! Firstly Pabs, you do not do anything around the house, and when you do you do it so badly it needs re-done... the only thing you do is pick up rubbish every so often... but then you just leave it in the kitchen for someone else to put out... When you vaccuum the house it always needs re-done coz you do it so damn poorly... and the very few times you actually do the dishes without running off to melbourne to avoid it they are rarely actually clean afterwards... I'm not going to sit here and brag about what i do in the house coz i'm not like that... what i will let you know is, I wasnt actually going to get into your room untill you decided that locking it up was a good idea... So we got in... and you know what... we're going to lock it all back up again so you can get in youself... Why? Coz your a dumb fucking, smelly little mexicunt who was stupid enough to lock himself out of his own bedroom! That and at the moment (actually probably since i moved in with you), your not exactly my favourite person. In fact i could probably count the times i have enjoyed your company in the last couple of month on one hand...

You will never win Pablo... If its war you want, its war you'll get.

Oh and before you try and get me to pay damages... i personally have not wrecked anything of yours or damaged anything in your room... yet...

2004-08-16T20:41:00.000-07:00

FUCK ME DEAD!!!

Ok so its tuesday and i feel like absolute shit... i have a ounding headache, i'm a little feverish, my throat feels like someone has hammered some 10 inch nails into it... to top it off i'm at work and i have no more paid sickies left...

So what happened to make jeff like this? Heres the timeline...

Thursday Night - Played aquagolf with Clancy, Pabs and Austin... Had a line of speed (had to test the stuff for sunday... it was blue), a few tokes of a joint or two, and a couple of beers.

Friday - Woke up feeling a little addled due to minor intake of substances... Went to work and had a pretty normal Firday. After work i bought a packet of ciggies and went to a party for some dude in Austins Department... During the night i had 2 lines, a few tokes of a joint and about 10 bouble vodkas... Austin and I got to Kingswood at around 3 and Clancy came and picked us up coz i lent her my car for the day. We got back to find everyone up and gassing so i had another line a few cones then another line and we went and had a session watching the sun rise...

Saturday - Went to bed at 7 and woke up before 9... spent the day in a blissful state of scatterdom... listened to 'Doing Time' by sublime many times as i felt it reflected my mood that day... saturday night Me and Allan got pissed with sophi, Benji and Fatty came over two... had a couple more lines then a cone and proceeded to pass out at around 5 am...

Sunday - Heres where the trouble starts...
Sophi wakes me at 8 am coz its sunny and she felt i needed to be outdoors... i get up and spend the day in a terrible mood (lack of sleep, double comedown, hangover etc)... As i had already bought the tix to Sounds i felt i had to go, on the way out i had to buy another half-weight as i had already just about finished the stuff i got for sounds originally... i got richards and Clancy and off we went!

Got to sounds feeling terrible... during the night i finished my speed and went halves in a pill with Clancy... We got back to mine around 1 and i went to bed straight away... i was in the lounge room again at 2... i couldnt sleep... at this point i was stressing coz i had to be up for qork at 7.30... so i sit up and bounce and comedown and finally at 4 i go to bed and succesfully sleep...

Monday - My alarm wakes me up as usual at 7.20... i get out of bed feeling like absolute shit and have a shower... i get out of th shower and realise that i cant speak... my voice is gone and my throat is searing with pain... oh oh... 2 half-wieghts, 5 packs of ciggis, hours and hours of nonsensical talking, have taken a toll on my voice box... It was after i had a shower and got ready for work that i finally came to the realisation that in all reality i wasnt going to work... i was screwed (poor Clancy had to go coz she doesnt have sick days)... so i used my last sick day4 months before they reset themselves...

So come tuesday i'm still sick but had no choice but to come to work or lose out on $140 + dollars... seeing as i spent way too much on the weekend (my weekend budget was outdone 10 fold) i felt i cant afford to lose any more money due to the weekend.... so here i am sick, angry, and vowing to never again in my life binge on chemical drugs like that... in fact i am now on a two and a half month break from going hard on anything at all... fuck i feel like shit... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!

2004-08-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

Jeffs version of events

PLEASE NOTE, THIS VERSION IS JEFFS VERSION SO MY REALITY MAY VARY FROM YOURS OR ANYONE ELSES.

Dont fret as this should be a fairly short post as my memory from saturday is short but interesting... It starts with me having to decide if i wanted to Drink the beer from the Keg, the vodka and lemonades in the fridge or the punch in the esky... so not being able to make a choice (and in true Jeff stupidity style) i decided i would have two drinks on me at any one time... So for the first couple of hours i had Either a Vodka and beer, a beer and punch, or a punch and vodka in either of my hands... So as you could imagine i was quite 'lop-soy' after a couple of hours...

So feeling like i was about to pass out and miss the party before it even starts properly, i decided that i would take Allan up for his offer for a line (whether i asked him or he asked me i'm not sure but somewhere there was a line up for grabs).... that was the first of god knows how many lines i had during the night...

Fast forward a couple of drunk charging hours later.... i decided i needed a pill... i did... i was fucked for hours after that one... even when the keg ran dry i still managed to find a way to keep me drunk...

Anyways the rest of the night was a huge blur... so i'm not sure if i can correctly relate these events... once again i ask anyone who has information relating to saturday night, to please forward these to me as once again i need to construct my memory...

2004-08-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

PARTY FEVER

So the time has come again where, after weeks of boring nothingness, someone has decided to throw a party. Now this isnt just one of those partied where you invite everyone you know... oh no... this is a party where you invite everyone fullstop. Who cares if we dont know them... it'll make it look like we know lots of people... So if anyone happens to read this (i doubt that severely) and lives in the Penrith Area, come to 39 Jones St Kingswood (5 min walk from Kingswood Station) tomorrow and party like theres no tomorrow (coz if you party hard enough there may be no tomorrow for you... but hey we wont be held respnsible for that)! So come one come all to the greatest bash ever held in the Greater Jones St Area... and stay tuned... Coz on monday all of those who failed to partake (or passed out early) will be able to read the events (as remembered by me so the accounts may be slightly skewed) on this very site, thats right kids! Right here on Jeffs Crappy Place of Crap there will be an exlcusive Jeff's Version of Events! So stayed tuned... Untill then kids... Party Hard!

2004-07-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

NEWSFLASH!!!

A combination of alcohol, speed, and weed does NOT make you invicible... I repeat a drug coctail will not make you invicible! Despite what everyone says, you can be hurt when fucked off your nut. You can NOT walk up slippery vert ramps without slipping and smashing your head on the ramp and thus causing major neck pains, and a dull headached and a sore arm and knee... '

This is what happened. I was drunk and stoned and speeding and we were at Manly skatepark. Mel and Kovacs were skating on the half pipe, while i stood there looking stupid and drunk. I look to the top of the ramp and see Richards and Al standing there and i figure i should join them. But instead of getting off the ramp and going up the step around the back, i decide that i was fucked up enough to be able to defy the laws of gravity and slipperyness and walk up a vert ramp... i made it about 3 or 4 steps up then...

SMACK

My head became better acquainted with the ramp and the whole right side of my body smashed to the ground a split second after my head hit the ramp... Now my neck hurts i have a headache and my arm and knee hurt... not to mention i think the sickness which has been plagueing my friends has finally caught up with me... and to top it all off, its 8.23 on sunday morning and guess where i am... BED? No, how could i be writing this from bed. Sill drinking and/or psrtying from last night? Party? Last night? All i did was sleep. We give up Jeff, where are you right now? Fucking work... working when i should be asleep, i could be scattered, i could be hung over.... but no i'm at a cubicle (not my big cubicle eaither just a little shitty one) with some form of mild concusion, a sore neck i cant move, and some wierd sickness that everyone else has had...

Fucking yeah!!!

This is fucked i'm going to sleep!

2004-07-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

Free Booze, Lotsa Gas, and Bush Bashing

So my weekend starts with me finishing wark and attending a work function. usually these functions are quite boring and lame, but this time was different... I had only one and a half hours to enjoy myself as much as i could, so i used my free drink coupons (i somehow got 5 of those instead of the 2 i was originally given... go figure), and spent $50.00... So i was pretty drunk.

I then went to see Farenheit 9/11 (the new Michael Moore movie)... it was great (from what i recall) and i want to go see it again when i've had a little less to drink so my memory wont be so hazy...

Ater the movie i had a few more drinks then had to endure a bus ride all the way back to Penrith coz the trains are once again not running. And it wasnt an express bus to Penrith, it was all stops from Parramatta onwards... Two fucking hours it took me to get home... two fucking hours... Screw you CityRail!!!

So thats friday night wrapped up for you, onto saturday. Still feeling a little tired and broke from friday night, i ventured to Schroders party offering to be designated driver. Little did i know however that Schroders parents had hired the pub out and there was an open bar. As soon as i learnt that i was able to get drunk free of charge, i took my car home and got a lift back to the party and took full advantage of the free drinks situation. When the bar shut, Austin and Myself made sure we had a table with no less than 20 beers sitting on it. We were, for a short period, the most popular people there as we were the only source of booze for a minute or so (untill Austin and myself decided that we couldnt drink any more and all the beers were given out to other desperate drunks).

So deciding that now i was very drunk, i thought i'd see if Panthers have started acting on their policy of not letting people who are drunk in... once again my social experiment has proven that they are yet to actually put that policy into practice. So here i am at Panthers wondering around drunk. I meet up with Megan and Kennan, and while Megan and Zoe are busy tearing Pabs to shreds me and Kennan go and find Richards and my car to have a line coz we were over-alcoholed. Anyways apparantly (i dont actually remember too much detail of the night) i tried to pick up a chick and offered her a smoke... she was (or so she said... apparantly) recovering from a punctured lung or something... so anyways having a drunk Asian with a crooked drunken face offering her a ciggarette after she was recovering from some fucked up lung thingy, didnt seem to go down too well with her... and as i apparantly said to Kennan 'I dont think she's interested man'... So back to my night... I had a line with Kenna drank more and went home somehow. At home i was trying to play X-Box with Al, but i was too drunk to aim so he kept kicking my ass. To counteract this i decided i needed more speed, so i racked up a while half-weight... no one would let me snort this so they proceeded to portion it into less stupidly big lines. So one hour and a half weight later i'm kicking Al's ass at Medal of Honour, to top it off i also kicked everones ass at Super Puzzle Fighter all Night and all the next day...

So after an hours sleep (i think i slept) i was still bouncing off the walls at around 9am on Sunday... I felt like shit all day long and slept for 12 hours last night and i feel fantastic today! Bu the Moral to my story is... actually there is no moral... i have no morals.

-Jeff (p.s. If anyone can remember anything about what i did in between the Party, Panthers and me getting home please let me know, my memory is a little thin)

2004-07-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

YOU KNOW WHAT/WHO I HATE?

Nosy cunts thats who!

You know like when you get home at like 10:30 and someone asks why your late, and you say stuff (which in my opinion makes it obvious i would rather not say). The nthe other party involved goes 'What does stuff mean?' in their annoying little mexican voice, and i say 'it means stuff ok!' then the other party keeps pushing untill i finally say 'look if i dont fucking want to tell you shit i wont ok so fucking shut up' then the other (mexican) party gets all huffy about it like i'm dating him or something. Yes i got shit i had to deal with, but its not my place to tell you, even if it was my place to tell you, i wouldnt have. And in case you didnt notice, the shit hasnt put me in a good mood at all.

So mind your own fucking business fag!

And you know what else pisses me off? Not getting to sleep untill past one. You know what else? Dennis calling me at 1:30 in the morning just after i finally get to sleep! You know what else? Noisy fuckers turning up at 3 in the morning and keeping me up, once again... right after i just managed to doze off? Both when i had just managed to finally get to sleep! Is there a conspiracy to stress me out!?! if so its fucking working cunts! And you know what else? Having to get up at 6 in the morning after only having like a total of 3 hours sleep is never pleasant!

I'm pissed of, I'm grumpy, I'm angry, I'm not very happy at all! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

So to conclude todays post.

Jeff = Tired + Got shit on his mind (that he would rather not be fucking harrassed about) = VERY VERY VERY FUCKING GRUMPY!!!

SO GET FUCKED!!!

2004-07-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

Canberra = Cold

To all of those who havent been to Canberra... Its quite cold in the middle of winter. So cold that when you get out of a jacuzzi naked your penis starts to resemble that of a certain canadian we all know and quite possible (if your sick like that) love.

So we went Tanyas 21st on Saturday night in canberra. It was interested to say the least. I got drunk, was speeding and managed to somehow get with someones girlfriends while that someone was trying to get with someone else... and neither of them minded... I like that arrangment i think i'll incorporate it into my next realtionship...

The only bad thing that came out of the weekend was Stixx... Stixx decided that eh had found 'reality' on saturday night. So all day sunday everything had such deep 'meaning' and somehow he had been everyehre beforehand (he hadnt)... but other than that it was a night of fun and joy!!!

In case you;ve noticed i dont post to regularly anymore, its because the only interesting things happening too me are top secret and by revealing them i would be revealing my double life to the likes of my friends and that must not happen at any costs... so my life is cruising along nicely (at least the lives YOU now about), and if anything at all happens that is interesting, or i get bored you'll hear from me then...

AND COULD PEOPLE STOP TRYING TO PRETEND TO BE ME ON MY CHAT BOX!!! NO-ONE EXCEPT FOR ME (AND ABVIOUSLY YOU) COMES TO THIS SITE... (I BET THIS JUST MAKES THE IMPERSONATIONS INCREASE... OH WELL) FAGS!

2004-07-05T19:31:00.002-07:00

New Hair, New Hole, and Spreading rumours about myself....

So i got a haircut, i look like i did a year ago before my hair decided to grow. It feels and looks wierd, but i guess thats just getting used to it. I also got my eyebrow pierced, which i think looks really cool... other than that though my weekends consisted of, hanging out with the ever lovely Mellisa Clancy, Smoking weed, and convincing pablo i'm up to something shifty (i'm not).

Pabs has recently got it in his head that i'm up to something and not letting him know about it. Firstly the fact that he would expect me to tell him kinda bugs me, i'm not going out with him or anything. Secondly if i were up to something i wouldnt tell himor anyone coz last time i told my friends something the shit hit the fan. Thridly the fact that Pabs absolutely has to know everything scares me, so keeping things from him (and by default everyone else), or even making him think i'm keeping something from him gives me a sick twisted feeling if satisfaction. I mean how much fun is it to watch this little 2 foot tall mexican getting all worked up that i'm hiding something from him? Answer- Lots and lots of fun, even more so when there is nothing to hide and he's convinced himself there is (with a little help from me). So if you'll excuse me Pabs, i'm just off to make out with the chick i'm seeing behind your back and not letting you know about, then i'm going to plot world domination (again) and not let you in on it, then i'll get the CIA and ASIO into you just for fun (of course i'll be keeping it all from you), then i'm going to hop the border and live in hiding in Mexico and not tell you... How shofty can you get... so watch out pabs.... you never know when i'm doing something behind your back!!!

Oh and for the record i still dont have access to 'All My Friends Are Crap' thanks to the heinous crime of Mr Pablo Murdoch.

2004-07-05T19:31:00.001-07:00

New Hair, New Hole, and Spreading rumours about myself....

2004-06-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

LIFE...

... is cruising along at a good speed. Another weekend behind me and i'm still alive. This weekend was quite uneventful and so i wont really post anything on its developments except for the following conclusions;

1. My break from chems, which is long overdue, is now in effect (i hope). I wont be partaking in chemial ridden activities for a long time, possibly as long as the next transmission... i will probably indulge for the party which we will have at the new place in the next few weeks but we'll see...

2. My third attempt at quitting smoking will start shortly... once again i think i will first wuit during the week, but for social events and times where i am drunk in a similar state of warped consiouness...

Other than that life will continue to cruise along...

So thats my update (boring i know but no-one reads this anyway) for now, ad untill next time kids...

2004-06-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!!

We have a house which we have now moved in to. Its cozy, but it nice and its cheap and its just like hanging out 24/7. Living with Pabs and Kansas has been quite good so far and so far its all been clockwork... but for how long? I dont know... but who cares? I'm happy to live life as it hits me. Everything is faling into place for me with one exception, this exception will be sorted soon though.

I dont really have much to say, just thought i'd update my legions of fans (pfft yeah right) and let everyone know that the whole chapter in my life labelled 'House Hunting to Head Hunting' is now over, and no-one had to die for me to get a house... so i guess everyone wins... except death... but he ALWAYS wins so now i guess its someone elses turn.

Adios Muchachos

2004-06-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

ITS OFFICIAL!

I HATE REAL ESTATES AND BEAUROCRACY, AND WAITING... AND PEOPLE AGED 30-65 (MIDDLE AGED)

I'm not even the one who has to move out. I still got a place to live after today, but Pabs and Kansas are screwed after that. The worse part is, we still got 5 applications pending, one hopefully will get back to us today, but its prabably going to be too late to take tomorrow off work. The anxiety is killing me... but i'm sure everything will work out for the best...

I called one of the Real Estates today (Raine and Horne) and they are waiting for a reply from the owner... i hate having to wait for fucking landlords to get off their asses! In the last few weeks i have realised that us young, under 25's, are seriously discriminated against. How the fuck are we supposed to gain experience and prove ourselves if stupid fucking cunts who own run-down piece of shit houses wont give us a chance. Unless there is something in one of Mine or Pablos applications that is detering people from us... I am slowly losing what little faith i have in society, why the fuck should i act mature and responsible when the world still see's me as a kid... well fine, i'm now just a kid with a job which pays me good money and allows me to do as little work as i can possibly do.

FUCK SOCIETY!!! FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT

Wait untill all these cunts who declined us are old farts... yeah just you wait untill its my money that has to support you and your wrinkled ass! You think i'm gonna help you out? NO! NO and...

...NO!!!!!

Fuck you old cunts, fuck you... just you wait untill i'm part of the group called 'middle agers' the group who runs the show... yeah i'll be having my revenge on anyone who i deem was likely to be middle aged in this time... yes thats right, the time when you middle aged fucks look down on us youngsters... well when i'm middle aged i'll be looking down on your old asses while you beg me to support you pension, and pay for your retirement home, and respect you... well you know what... FUCK IT!!! My time will come, and when it does... muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(please note i have nothing against this current generation of old folk, just the next one...)

2004-05-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

HARRASSMENT!

So here i am at work right, bored as all fuck, browsing everyones blogs when i realised that no-one has posted anything interesting recently... So i figured that because you selfish cunts havent taken the liberty in providing me with amusement for my work day, i figured i would harass one of you. I went through in my head a list of possible harassment candidates...

1. Sean Richards- After what happened when Austin tried to start shit with the dudes in the workshop, i thought it wasnt wise.

2. Pablo Murdoch- I figured i have been a real cunt to Pabs, and seeing as i will probably be living with him soon (thanks a fucking lot dennis)i figured i'd annoy someone else for a change.

Steve Austin- Well i'm not sure why i didnt harrass him, just didn't... next time Austin... next time...

Allan Fryer- He he he... I decided allan should be harassed, but i think i pissed him off. He's a school today, and i dont think he likes being bombed by 10 SMS's at once all saying 'please stay tuned for an SMS bomb'. He tried to bomb me back but my phone has a filter that blocks duplicate messages... So i keep messaging him untill he gets angry (i think) and turns his phone off... ahhh allan... that will learn ya.

UPDATE YOU BLOG!!!

Thats all from me for now.

2004-05-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

This will be fun... i hope!

Ok so since dennis has fucked pabs over, he is now going to be moving out with Kansas, Kovacs and Myself (thanks heaps dennis, thanks heaps). So anyway it looks like i will be living with an argumentative 23 year old, an annoying 13 year old trying to pass as 21, and a i dont know how old-year old who had better get his shit together today or he's out of the cut. Hmmm what the fuck have i gotten myself into? Oh well its only a temporary arrangement untill i decide that having money is good and go back to live with the olds.

WEEKEND HI-JINKS!

Friday night i went to 1200 Techniques, brilliant show despite my early stomach upheavals. I drank many-a Smirnoff double black at the Madison (next door to the venue) then tried to stomach a bourban (which i hate normally) which decided to pick a fight with the vodka already in my stomach. The bourbon lost, and it must've allied with the meat pie i had eaten earlier. Both the bourbon and pie were expelled via my mouth during the cover act 'Sribe' thus having puked on the dance floor and again in the toilet (not to mention on my shoes and hoodie), i decided i needed to go to the card and get a shirt and throw the hoodie in the boot. After this even i drank many more vodkas which lived in peace in my stomach with the original vodkas and i danced the night away to a superb show with some wicked hip-hop beats.

Was spent house hunting, figuring out living arrangements and attending a cocktail party.
The cocktail part was splendid, with many fine ladies dressed in their finest, sexiest attire. I did pick up this cute chick, but she drank some cocktail she didnt know who made or what was in it and ended up puking and passing out, being on E's, me and Kaveet looked after her with her cute friend. I decided against picking up her friend as well as that may have been considered a bit rude. Oh well. In my words 'Plastic suits dig chicks', excuse the bad gramma Austin but was drunk on vodka and high on ecstacy. But the point remains that my Plastic suit has worked for me on both events i have worn it. Thank you Sprongll. Anyways i'm working and supposed to be supervising the team (such a bludge) so i guess i'd better go do my work.

Adios Muchachos

2004-05-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

MY APOLOGIES...

... to any of you who believed my 'date' on friday was what i built it up to be. I was hanging out and getting drunk with a chick, but that chick way my ex, Trina, and there was never going to be any action. I told Austin there would be as an experiment to see how interested he'd get. In fact he got quite annoyed when i wouldnt tell him. Sorry to anyone else who believed my blog post but i had to keep the level of realism there to convince Austin.

The Moral to the Story

If your Austin (or anyone) dont be so interested in other peoples sex lives! Get your own sex life to be interested in! And there will be more fake ones (and hopefully real ones) untill i sense a lack of interest from Austin. Then and only then can i do who i want without having a hairy canadian wanting all the details. I would put the same on Mr P, but he's sneakier when it comes to obtaining information so the only way to block info from getting to him is to not tell anyone else (coz i know some of you cunts cant keep secrets for shit, especially ones that are clearly labeled, DO NOT TELL PABLO!)

Anyways, 1200's this friday night right after work, i gotta figure out a way to go but i also gotta figure out somewhere to leave my bag... actually i might not even bruing a bag... ah who cares! Hip Hop music, hot chicks dancing, booze... what more could we ask for?

MOVING OUT...

... is proving to be a huge hassle. The deadline Pabs and Kansas have is the 4th of June. I on the other hand have no deadline and dont need to put in any notice for the place i'm in now. So its easy enough for me, its just Pabs is making things hard. That and i feel obliged to help find a place coz i agreed to move with them. Anyways, hopefully i get a new place soon and we can party there like theres no tomorrow (which there is, its wednesday). So life is on an up. Great isnt it?

2004-05-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

WHAT A DAY!

Firstly last night on the way home from work, i got off the train at central to get the express to blacktown, and while i was coming down the stairs theres this brunette chick in her early 20's struggling to carry this large travel case. So i offer give her a hand and she's responds in a nice European accent;

'Yes that would be very nice, thank you. My name is Lisa by the way,'

hmmm thinks i, hi i'm Jeff hows it going?

So i help her out and we chat for a few minutes while she waits for her train (in case you hadnt guessed she was going to the airport to get a flight home.

As she was leaving she said something like,

'Why couldnt i meet nice people like you while i was here instead of while i am leaving' gives me a hug a kiss on the cheek and off she goes back to Germany. At his point i was thinking i should just get on a plane with her and go to germany... in case you didnt guess i didnt do that...

AND THEN...

So anyways this morning, after not waking up next to a German Brunette i get an SMS from a female acquantence of mine...DUE TO THE RECENTLY IMPOSED PRIVACY ACT OF JEFF (2004) ALL NAMES OF ANYONE I MAY HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH, OR HAVE A CHANCE OF HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH, WILL BE WITHELD. THIS APPLIES TO ALL FORMS OF SEX INCLUDE ORAL, MANUAL, VAGINAL AND IF IT COMES TO IT ANAL.... Now this chick invites me to her house to have some drinks tonight. I ask if she's having a party or something, and she's like 'no i just want to see you'... i was pleasantly suprised, so tonight i'm off to hopefully release my load that is building up... pity i whacked off last night coz now i gotta drink lotsa water to bring in some new recruits...

So i met a German chick i wanted to fuck who i couldnt fuck coz she was going home to Germania, and i get a message out of the blue from a chick who wants me to get drunk with her... hmmm could this 24 hour block get any more interesting???

YES IT CAN!

As a reward for my 'hard work' i have been awarded a bigger desk. Now instead of a crappy little cubicle i have a proper sized desk like all the other office folk who arent shit kickers get. Also instead of a view on one side, I now sit in a corner with views of the harbour on one side and the mountains on the other...

See guys this is the reward for all the 'hard work' i do, and the fact i have never been caught surfing the internet at my desk... Give me a few more years of doing nothing and i'll be CEO in no time...

Well fuckers have fun getting stoned in a room full of guys, i'm going fishing!

2004-05-11T22:39:00.000-07:00

FEELING BETTER

I have calmed down a little since the beginning to the week... Austin called me on Monday night and admitted he was (partly) at fault. Although i am still angry i am not going to be a cunt to Austin anymore.

But Pablo

... on the other hand is still in my bad books... his 'you needed to pay' excuse is not valid. I personally have had enough of Pabs and his irresponsible bullshit. Even though i said i'd let him stay at my new place (when i find one) untill he finds himself a place, it looks as if he may not find another place, so i dont want him staying at mine. It will turn into a permanent thing and i honestly find it hard to imagine living with him for a few weeks, let alone forever.

But back to not bitching about Pabs

... we found a nice house with a pool, games room, and bar. 4 bedrooms, dishwasher etc etc... nice house, cheap rent. We just need someone else to go on the lease with me as Kansas may not get on there due to his income not being put on payslips... but if we do get the house it would be sweet... if not it would not be sweet but merely ok...

2004-05-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

HOW BETTER TO SPEND A SCATTERED DAY...

Then trying to fix a friendship, and resolve an issue thats come about by your friend betraying your trust and two of your friends having completely no respect for other peoples personal lives and feelings. I wont mention names but these two cunts nearly ruined my entire weekend. I from friday night right up untill now, i am still picking up the pieces of their fucking stupidity... all for a couple of minutes fun... thanks guys thanks alot... just thought i'd let you guys know i havent forgiven or forgotten... it'll be a long time before i do, you've pissed me off one too many times, both of you.

Luckily However... i still managed to have some moments of fun over the weekend (no thanks to two of my so-called friends).

Friday night i had the Brazilians over, despite the bombshell dropped by my above mentioned 'friends', i still managed to have a slendid evening if drinks with two lovely brazilians girls (and stixx and kansas and kovacs too, but they dont count) although i didnt get any, the company of attractive women sure beats the company of fat canadians and short mexicans (and others too) any day... so that night was quite the lovely evening...

Saturday night was yet another splendid night as the beautiful Clancy came to hang out with me (and the others too, but me the most) which was a pleasant suprise... (just for your info more shit is hitting the fan) I have concluded Clancy is a mad chick and is a just a friend... as much as i would like to fuck her, i'd rather just hang out with her... but being a friend, i also have to ward her away from guys whom i think she is too good for (you know who you are)...

So i have now spent all of today learning of more shit hitting the fan, and i have to spend tonight once again trying to sort stuff out... you guys just dont understand how fucked you have made my life right now...

I'm in no mood to post anymore

and for the record please dont mention HER name on here or make any reference to HER in here... also dont make any obvious references about the situation coz the last thing i want is for more people to know

2004-05-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

CRAP DAY!!!

Well today started ok... At apporximately 12am this morning i was drunk in the city, happy as hell coz Mundine was beaten for the title last night. I bought a kebab, Capt'n Smack and myself went to the cross, went back to Dennis's and i passed out. Sounds like fun so far right?

Well then i had to wake up and go to work with a hangover... i got a huge paycheck ($2500) of which $712 went to tax. After paying things that i need to pay, i will once again hit the poverty line untill the next fortnight pay comes in... but anyways back to hangovers and work... they suck ass so bad... having a headache and your gut protesting against having been attcked heavily the night before is not fun at all... and then having to listen to peoples shit all day and having to wait untill 3:00PM to have my lunch sux too...

ARRRGGHHH!!!

That is all...

2004-05-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

COMPUTER FUCKEDNESS!

So heres the deal... All on tues and half way through today (wednesday) my Internet from work wasnt working, but my work related systems were working... this affected me and this other guy i work with who is always on the net, but no-one else had this problem... so we kinda figured they were on to us. Out of boredom i actually cleaned my workstation (kinda) and did some work (kinda)...

BUT...

at approx 2:45 today i come back from lunch only to find all work related systems have crashed (hooray!!!), and the internet now works!!! So i can make up for all that work i actually did and bludge on the internet at the companies expense... isnt life wonderful!

AND...

to make matters better, i get paid a HUGE paycheck tomorrow and for once i think i might use it to pay off my debts instead of killing vital organs with various substances...

Anyways thats all i really have to say today, but if i think of anything i will let you know...

2004-05-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

SCATTERED!

Not now, but earlier. Blank mind, pounding headache, lack of concentration, sore gut... pity theres no cure to being scattered, coz yesterday was the worst i have ever been. I actually felt bad, usually all i do is come down for an hour or two, then its just blank. Yesterday i came down for an hour or two, then three, then four. Then i felt better for a bit, then i stood up and felt worse again. I tried to sleep many a time at Mr P's but just couldnt do it after my intial early morning nap. So i go shopping and forgot half the stuff i had to buy. I got home played some X-Box and went to sleep for 15 hours... Un-Surprisingly my dreams consisted of me killing the Aliens from HALO. But i'm still kinda out of it now so this is gonna be a long day...

Saturday night... was initially a blow out. The Party fell through due to to many degrees of seperation between us and the party holder... But i had a half weight and 8 bottles of double black to go through... So we made a night out of it...

Firstly Me, Richards, and Austin go fro a cruise listening to music and speeding (in my case drinking too) off our nuts in my commodore (yes richards was driving). Then i played connect 4 with allan, then went with allan and richards to allans parents to get allans drumsticks. When i returned to Kansas and Mr P's i was dismayed to find i had thrown away all but two lines out of my half weight (the two lines i didnt throw had been consumed). It was at his point i recalled reaching into my pocket and throwing something that felt like rubbish out... problem was i couldnt remember where it was i threw it. But i did conclude it had to be my missing speed as it was wrapped in foil... So we rush back to Allans parents house hoping that they havet gotten home to find speed lying on the ground... Luckily they hadnt gotten home, unluckily my speed wasnt there either... Ok so we search Mr P's house... nothing, nothing on the lawn either... at this point i realise i threw it away somehwere on the road and gave up hope trying to find it... so i buy another half half weight off richards and continue with my evening of fun...

So we decide to go to Budges and get fucked up there... i think i manged to talk non-stop for hours and hours, some lady at the windsor leagues club even told me to shut up a couple of times... so anyway... thats the prelude to my fuckedness on sunday...

fun!

2004-04-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

ON SPECIAL REQUEST...

I think i will publish a list of people you may find regularly mentioned in this blog for that one person who ever comes here who doesnt already know them...

Capt'n Smack... is not a fictional pirate. He is indeed a real life Capt'n (note Capt'n not Captain) from the planet Ketamine. Capt'n Smack was discovered within the body of one Adam Sharif one evening whilst we were enjoying a pleasant evening on Ecstacy. Capt'n Smack made his debut appearance after Adams eyes started moving independently of each other and he seemed to lose all orientation... We lost him at this pont and he was re-discovered walking through the main gaming room of panthers enjoying the flashing lights and wonderous music... Capt'n Smack is also known as the Sushi King, Schazoo, and Schazwozzle.

Pablo or Mr P... is a short little mexican boy, we found him on the street asking for money so we took him in as a pet. We like to cal him Spic and Border Hopper. Pablo is one of three of us who actually ever gets laid, but he likes to keep quiet about it coz it drives the girls to suicide if too many ppl know. He's recently gone for a travel through the Aussie outback and is thinking about living every border hoppers dream and going to California...

Some people like to say Austin... is a oversized cuddly teddy bear... They're wrong. He's nice enough untill you get to know him. If your female and get to know him its quite a traumatic experience. His definition of flirting is quite similar to that of a caveman, except cavemen were obviously more succesful, coz they evolved. Austin works in the same office i do and is a great fan of chemicals...

Richards AKA Chemical Rick... is also a great chemical fan. He's the autosexual of the group. Havent heard much about him and chicks but he sure loves his cars. If it wasnt for Chemical Rick all of us who have cars would be screwed, and Austin would still be trying to find the elusive Air-Conditioning Manifold. Also if it wasnt for Chemical Rick, we would still be trying to find the speaker wire Austin insisted wasnt there (it was) and still be pulling my dash apart)... May Chemicals Bless You Chemical Rick...

Allan... is the only one of my close friends with any musical talent. The quiet (but sly) drummer is also a master of electronic music pumped through a computer. Allan enjoys hiding things. Like a dog, he'll hide your stuff then pretend like he has no idea where it is. The funny thing it works everytime. Allan also enjoys pretending to be chicks online to fool gilluble sex addicts...

Kansas.. is the one who keeps us doped up and placid. The oldest and arguably wisest of the group by two years, he has had experiences in life only dreamt of by us (or so he says). He is the other of the three of us who ever gets any (Capt'n Smack Exclusive as he is in a loving relationship) and lets people know but wont ever give away secrets. Kansas is often seen abusing his computer, his DVD player or any other electronic items in his house. Also seen being a general sick cunt, Kansas is like the senile Grand-dad we never had...

Finally there is me Jeff. I am Jeff. Hear me Roar. I like drugs but am a bigger fan of alcohol. Often seen driving to a pub/club/party, but rarely seen driving out. More often than not I am passed out on the back seat of my car for the return Journey. I am the third of the three who get laid and i dont care who knows and who doesnt. I have an ego the size of the Former USSR, and am also very vain (despite my lack of looks)...

This is just a general background of the people closest to me. There are more who will be mentioned and you will leanr more about the above as the blog progresses. I hope this entertains the one person who ever comes here thats not me or my friends.

Bon-Sewer All

2004-04-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

NOT SO INTERESTING

So Clancy bailed last night, and i'm not hungover. Now to the observer not being hungover may seem like a good thing, it isnt. Not being hungover indicates i wasnt drunk last night, and not being drunk last night is a scary prospect for me as being drunk is what i like most and what i do best... oh well theres beer in the fridge and porn to be watched... Tomorrow night will be a good night of partying, also it may be the last time i go out for a little while (a little while being untill i change my mind or have money, less than a week)... So... thats all i have to say for now... but rest assured over the perios of today there will be more to add to my blog... i hope there will be at least as i'm going to need something to do...

2004-04-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

INTERESTING

So i get a phone call last night from Clancy (for those of you who dont know Clancy was my Best friend for a year or so during the final year of highschool and a bit beyond, she's hot, she's cool and generally quite fun), i havent seen her since my party in march, and before then since may last year... so anyways, back to the story. So Clancy calls me asking how I am and all the usual shit you would say to someone you havent seen for ages and ages...

So anyways she's coming over to mine tonight to get drunk (wonderous) and and catch up on shit...

Other than that yeaterday was just a usual wednesday for me, went to see Capt'n Smack and Dennis and watched simpsons and futurama. We all had a cone then everyone went into chess mode... So i left, chess is fun to play sometimes, but watching chess is one of the most boring activities i could imagine when smashed... boring post i know but its my blog so go fuck yoursleves.

2004-04-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

SO THE WEEK DRAGS ON>

Ao here i am once again, sitting at my desk at work, avoiding work as much as possible and surfing the net and getting paid handsomly for it... ah lifes great isnt it?

The answer is no, life isnt great, life sux! Not really but i'm broke untill my mega-bonza-super-big-heavily taxed paycheck comes in (one week and one day people). Untill then i'll be living off measly funds. I dont know how my friends who live off the dole do it, i earn loads more than them and yet i'm always broke. Richards earns less but he lives at home so thats expected, Austin earns as much and he lives at home so he's Mr Moneybags. But Pablo and Kansas live out of home on the dole, now they dont seem half as broke as me (Pablo even manages to save money)... The only thing i can imagine to be the problem is i love to drink and smoke and smoke pot, and do speed, and pills. Not to mention my lack of ability to manage funds, then theres the debt i have to pay off... at least i have a nice car, house, and stuff... but i'm poor... oh well i'm still enjoying myself

THIS WEEKEND... I will find funds and go to this mysterious party up the coast Richards is going on about... i'm hoping it will be fun (I'm hoping i can find money to go with, or manage what little money i have to be able to go (pfft like thats gonna happen)). Me and Austin will be convoying our cars up there and there will be charges for fuel and in drive movie... Richards (i dont even know if you read this blog), let me know whats the go with the weekends festivities. I want some 18 y/o sluts!!!...

Moving premises... So Pablo and Kansas want me to move out with them... this is tempting as i will be away from the anti-fun, but its also not tempting coz i dont think could live with pablo... Kansas should be ok, but pablo may be a problem... but hey! If he pisses me off too much i'll move out and leave him with more rent to pay...

HOW DARE THAT CUSTOMER INTERUPT MY POST!!! The nerve of some people, calling in to a customer service line to ask for assistance! FUCK OFF!! i'm not here to get paid to work, i'm here to bludge for 8.5 hours a day (lunch inculsive), 5 days a weeks, 48 weeks a year. I think its really unreasonable to expect me to work for so long... fucking corporations!

Oh well thats my bitch for the day... fuck!

2004-04-26T01:21:00.000-07:00

I'M ONLINE!!! YAY!!!

So now my blog has all the working functions of any shitty blog would... bad colour scheme, boring content, shoutbox--->, and comments field... ah finally I learnt how to copy and paste html.

THE WEEKEND OF ENLIGHTENMENT

This weekend I realised something. Instead of drinking a full 700ml bottle of southern comfort to myself and puking 2 or three times during the night, I drank a 350ml bottle of southern and got just as trashed (not to forget the speed and weed I took) as I did with the 700ml but minus the puke... ah I love it when I realise things that save me money...

Although I had a half half weight (quarter weight I guess???) I did end up in the back seat of my car, unfortunately I was alone in the back seat of my car, passed out, freezing my wang off. The culprits to this event (which hasn’t happened for a while now), were Gilmore, Kansas, and Kennan (I think it was Kennan, but I was pretty lop-soy at the time), who, despite knowing full well what happens to me when I smoke pot after drinking, enticed me into having a cone... then they convinced me I hadn't had a cone, so I had to have another one (it so easy to fool a drunken Jeff)... After that I was quite considerably fucked up... So being fucked up I lost all sensation of fucked up ness for an hour or two, so I smoked a lot more pot... Well when the feeling of fuckedness returned I was still speeding so I couldn’t just lie down and pass out.
So here I am passed out but awake, charging around the party. Then the alcohol wears off and I pass out a few times in my car...

Las night when trying to sleep, for the second week in a row, I was woken up. Once again it was Trina2 and her Pet Trog. Deciding I think Trina2 is hot; I invite them out back for a smoke and beer. The scary thing is Trog was asking me freaky questions

have you ever told a girl you love them and meant it... what the fuck is this shit!!!! That and I think she was trying to subtlety out her hand under my ass... hmmm not good... well maybe if I keep in contact with Trina2 and never contact The Trog she'll get a hint... Man ugly chicks suck... especially when these ugly chicks are called Tiffany and look just like Allan fryer... that’s right al... your dead!

anyways that’s all I gotta say here, all you mother fuckers who have ANZAC Day off (for all you non Australian computer nerds, ANZAC day is our version of you remembrance day, except they named ours after a sweet snack, or biscuit, or cookie, however you want to put it) enjoy your sleep and recovery, for all of you (like me) who are working... I feel your pain... but for $354.50 for a days work, I’m not complaining...

2004-04-26T00:54:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE LIFT OFF!

So after many days of fiduring stuff out, and doing shit, and also fucking a whole blog up altogether, i have a blog!!!

So now my blog has all the working functions of any shitty blog would... bad colour scheme, boring content, shoutbox--->, and comments field... ah finally i learnt how to copy and paste html.

THE WEEKEND OF ENLIGHTENMENT

This weekend i realised something. Instead of drinking a full 700ml bottle of southern comfort to myself and puking 2 or three times during the night, i drank a 350ml bottle of soutern and got just as trashed (not to forget the speed and weed i took) as i did with the 700ml but minus the puke... ah i love it when i realise things that save me money...

Although i had a half half wieght (quarter weight i guess???) i did end up in the back seat of my car, unfortunately i was alone in the back seat of my car, passed out, freezing my wang off. The culprits to this event (which hasnt happened for a while now), were Gilmore, Kansas, and Kennan (i think it was Kennan, but i was pretty lop-soy at the time), who, despite knowing full well what happens to me when i smoke pot after drinking, enticed me into having a cone... then they convinced me i hadn't had a cone, so i had to have another one (it so easy to fool a drunken Jeff)... After that i was quite considerably fucked up... So being fucked up i lost all sensation of fucked up ness for an hour or two, so i smoked alot more pot... Well when the feeling of fuckness returned i was still speeding so i couldnt just lie down and pass out.
So here i am passed out but awake, charging around the party. Then the alcholol wears off and i pass out a few times in my car...

Las night when trying to sleep, for the second week in a row, i was woken up. Once again it was Trina2 and her Pet Trog. Deciding i think Trina2 is hot, i invite them out back for a smoke and beer. The scary thing is Trog was asking me freaky questions

have you ever told a girl you love them and meant it... what the fuck is this shit!!!! That and i think she was tring to subtlely put her hand under my ass but i'm trying to deny that... hmmm not good... well maybe if i keep in contact with Trina2 and never contact The Trog she'll get a hint... Man ugly chicks suck... especially when these ugly chicks are called Tiffany and look just like allan fryer... thats right al... your dead!

anyways thats all i gotta say here, all you mother fuckers who have ANZAC Day off (for all you non Australian computer nerds, ANZAC day is our version of you remembrence day, except they named ours after a sweet snack, or biscuit, or cookie, however you want to put it) enjoy your sleep and recovery, for all of you (like me) who are working... i feel your pain... but for $354.50 for a days work, i'm not complaining...

2004-04-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

2004-04-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

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2004-04-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

New Blog by Me